Kristina M. Smith, Writer

Opinions are like…

smithcommamamma — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 19:24:57 +0000

My husband, Todd, once said, “Opinions are like assholes. Everyone’s got one, so what’s so special about yours?” That’s not only a very blunt and accurate statement, it is also very profound coming from Todd. Even though I cannot remember the circumstances that brought on such a lesson, it comes to mind almost daily. In my attempts to get my screenplays sold I have read oodles and oodles of information on the process and have tried my darnedest to follow all of the rules. About a year ago I was told to get a list of agents from the WGA website and call one of them to get representation. In only one out of my first ten phone calls I talked to a pleasant human being. Ignore the other nine personality disorders that I spoke to and half of them didn’t represent writers. Yea, that’s right, I got their name from the WGA website. That’s the Writers Guild of America. Seriously, I can’t even try and reason with that. The conflicting information I have read goes on and on.

“Definitely send a query letter. Send 100 and be happy if you get 4 responses, even if it’s no.” This, evidently means they took you seriously enough to respond. Then, don’t even bother with the query letters it’s a waste of postage. No one reads them.

“A synopsis should be 2-10 pages.” Wow! Can we fucking narrow it down a little? They must have been talking about a treatment, which is 10-20 pages. But wait! “Nobody will ever ask you for a treatment these days.” But they will if you’re pitching an idea and haven’t written the script yet. But wait! They’ll only read your treatment if you’ve sold something before. I read one article that said a synopsis shouldn’t be more than 2 pages but that person said she wouldn’t read it if it was more than one. Hello? Is anybody home?

This is my favorite: “Do not number the scenes in your screenplay. This is not a job for the writer, it is a job for the pre-production staff. But if you are so inclined to do so, number them on the left.” WTF!

My point: Keep reading, keep learning, keep seaking information. Form your own opinion and hope you don’t turn into an asshole. Don’t forget who you are and what you want to accomplish. And last but not least, if it was meant to be, it will be.

Keep smiling:)

Short Film Project

smithcommamamma — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 23:24:14 +0000

My son, Ryan, and I worked on our short film for the Cedar Rapids Film Festival today. We’re hoping to have two entrees in the festival. The first is a comedy titled “My Daughter’s Penis.” The story is based on the fact that the art teacher allowed my daughter to sculpt a penis in art class. I considered talking to the teacher regarding how inappropriate it was and actually laughed out loud when I imagined how the conversation would go. I never asked for a conference but I wrote a pretty good story, which we are turning into a short film. The CR Film Festival is typically scheduled to take place on the first weekend of April. So write that down.

We’re also hoping to do a music video. I’ll be doing the choreography for this number and am still searching for the right music. Some preliminary thoughts…Let It Rock, Stupid Shit, Krazy, Womanizer or maybe Come On Feel The Noise. Of course, I’ll keep you posted:)

Career Update

smithcommamamma — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 22:33:01 +0000

As some of you know, I decided to hire a script analysts to look over one of my favorite screenplays. I have gotten a lot of feedback from other people over the last two years along with some words of encouragement. However, it was time to seek the opinion of someone in the movie industry. I accidentally came upon a service called NoBullscript, and a gentleman by the name of Daniel Manus, as I was reading articles about screenwriting. His writing is blunt and straight to the point. Now, even though I don’t take criticism well, I’ve discovered that I hate it when people skipitty doo around the truth. So I took a chance and broke open my piggy bank and hired him. In addition to the four pages of notes I already received from Danny, I will have the opportunity to visit with him on the phone this coming Thursday. Danny already verified that I have talent and gave me a lot of things to think about from a production standpoint. I’m pretty sure I’ll be sending him one of my other screenplays to review.

On a personal note. The nightmare of my stolen documentary feature has a comical twist that I must share. Neither the studio owner or the douche bag thought they needed a writer and the last post on the web site was proof of that. They do, however, desperately need an editor! Oh yea, and a spell checker! And a grammar checker… LMAO.

screenplay analyst

smithcommamamma — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 23:32:57 +0000

I decided to put a little cash into my screen writing venture and hired an analyst to go over my favorite screenplay. I anxiously await his feedback and have prepared myself to hear the worst. Actually that’s a lie. The worst would be that I suck, and that’s not true. Pretty sure I found my calling. Actually, having kids was my calling, but I did that five times and now it’s time to answer my call waiting.

Hello.

smithcommamamma — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 01:20:29 +0000

I’ve been trying to get some kind of web site going for months now. I don’t have the patience to read and learn, I like to click and learn. Barb Gordon told me all about his WordPress deal and so far I’m catching on pretty good. Actually, I think it’s going to be kind of fun.